When I was in middle school and early high school, i had the privilege of hearing a very wise young man of God speak about God and His love for people. This man has a special place in my heart, even though he's now married with three kids. A week ago, he had a seizure and a brain tumor was discovered. My heart broke when I read this.

Back when I first heard him speak, like any hormonal girl, i had a crush. Not so anymore (though people in one of my classes would say differently). Anyways, i found a beautful picture of he and his family, and I started praying. Basically I asked God to heal him... This is the response i heard.

Dear Child, if I choose to have him hear with me, i will get the glory. If I
choose to let him stay there to preach my love to all peoples, I will get the
glory. Don't worry about what happens. Pray that I get the glory in all
circumstances.

Can you just say "Whoa!" It's been a while since i've heard His voice so clearly. Honestly, I kind of missed it.

But you know, Mother Teresa, one of the greatest workers among the Dalits and orphans of India, is rumored as writing in her journals that she went 50 years without feeling Yeshua. If I went that long, would I still believe? Now, as I approach my newest adventure, I can't imagine not seeing him in the winter snowflakes, or feeling him in the Indian Summer breezes. Will I ever reach the point where only my faith and not my personal feelings will have to carry me through from day to day? Will i ever get to that point that I have to choose to follow him, not because I find him amazing, but because I have to in order to believe?

Dear Yeshua, I pray that I will always find myself in you. That even when I'm the most moody, bipolar woman, even when I'm the happiest women, even when I'm kind of "bleh," You will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast. That when everything else around me crumbles, I'll stand firmly on you. You are the only Rock I trust. I pray that I'll be like Peter stepping out of the boat, walking on water, and I pray that the storms of life won't distract me. Help me to remember your love. Help me to remember you. Fill my cup so that it overflows and I can do nothing but share your love with all I meet. Don't let me be caught up in the philosophical side of the gospel, but help me to grasp the beauty of the simplicity. Help me to share this with everyone. I need you. Don't let me forget that.