Woo!!!

I am officially a college graduate! It took me long enough, i dare say! I mean, five and a half years is a long time for undergrad!

Anyways, with me being done with school, I'm home for the holidays, at least until my next adventure begins in January. I'm excited and nervous, and I hope and pray everything works out ok in the end. I mean, I know it will....

Ok, so with this "worry" I have to think about Matthew 5 (or is it 6??? I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment!) My Beloved Yeshua tells those around him to look at the lilies in the field and how they don't toil or spin, yet God provides their needs. See??? I have access to photos i've taken in the last few months, and I have this AWESOME one of a day lily. Lilies have a special part in my heart anyway, since one of my names means Lily. As a part of the preparation for my next adventure, I was asked to take a personal spiritual gifts survey... And one of mine was, guess.... Faith. Faith? I never imagined myself as a person of strong faith, but as i look back on my past, i see that I do truly have faith. I am more of a "come what may" kind of girl, and so I don't duck as often as I might when it comes to curve balls God might throw my way, but I wasn't expecting faith to be in my top 6 spiritual gifts.

Anyways... Whatever happens, I know my Yeshua loves me and that I'm not alone.

so for a few more picatures!!!!

My kid sis on the shores of Lake Tahoe

A waterfall at lake tahoe

and that's all for now. Be blessed my friends!

When I was in middle school and early high school, i had the privilege of hearing a very wise young man of God speak about God and His love for people. This man has a special place in my heart, even though he's now married with three kids. A week ago, he had a seizure and a brain tumor was discovered. My heart broke when I read this.

Back when I first heard him speak, like any hormonal girl, i had a crush. Not so anymore (though people in one of my classes would say differently). Anyways, i found a beautful picture of he and his family, and I started praying. Basically I asked God to heal him... This is the response i heard.

Dear Child, if I choose to have him hear with me, i will get the glory. If I
choose to let him stay there to preach my love to all peoples, I will get the
glory. Don't worry about what happens. Pray that I get the glory in all
circumstances.

Can you just say "Whoa!" It's been a while since i've heard His voice so clearly. Honestly, I kind of missed it.

But you know, Mother Teresa, one of the greatest workers among the Dalits and orphans of India, is rumored as writing in her journals that she went 50 years without feeling Yeshua. If I went that long, would I still believe? Now, as I approach my newest adventure, I can't imagine not seeing him in the winter snowflakes, or feeling him in the Indian Summer breezes. Will I ever reach the point where only my faith and not my personal feelings will have to carry me through from day to day? Will i ever get to that point that I have to choose to follow him, not because I find him amazing, but because I have to in order to believe?

Dear Yeshua, I pray that I will always find myself in you. That even when I'm the most moody, bipolar woman, even when I'm the happiest women, even when I'm kind of "bleh," You will guide me. Your right hand will hold me fast. That when everything else around me crumbles, I'll stand firmly on you. You are the only Rock I trust. I pray that I'll be like Peter stepping out of the boat, walking on water, and I pray that the storms of life won't distract me. Help me to remember your love. Help me to remember you. Fill my cup so that it overflows and I can do nothing but share your love with all I meet. Don't let me be caught up in the philosophical side of the gospel, but help me to grasp the beauty of the simplicity. Help me to share this with everyone. I need you. Don't let me forget that.

merf

Why is it i blog when there's something else I should be doing? I should be sleeping, but I want to blog. My mind is running away and leaving me behind. Good news! it's the LAST week i'll ever have undergrad. It's a bittersweet moment in my life. I love school, but I'm ready to be done.

It is nice and cold and wet outside. I LOVE this kind of weather. It doesn't happen here much at all.... I actually saw snow! *gasp* I took time to embrace the precipitation and slowly walk to my car from the exit of Target. I love snow.

It was definitely a needed break from work. I work for my dad's business partner as a nanny/babysitter for some former CPS kids. I love these kids (affectionately nicknamed "rodents" with the Ferret, Squirrel, and Mouse) and I dislike these kids all at the same time. The Squirrel and Mouse are both 16 and Ferret is 15. Today was not a good day. Ferret was hyper, I was "stressed" and the Squirrel accused practically everyone of taking her flash drive. "Give me the phone so i can call mom and ask her about it!" she demanded of me. Uh, No. First of all, i was talking to my boyfriend. Second of all, last time I let her borrow the phone, i got REALLY mad. 30 minutes later, after yelling at her for five and getting back on the phone with B, she finds it... in her back pocket. I tried to tell her to calm down (and it would've been ironic had i been yelling at her, but by this point i was too tired to yell)

The Ferret told me his homework was at school. If he doesn't do this homework, he's not going on the retreat this weekend. To top it off, when I asked him to do something, he refused. An hour later when i received a text from his mom, he decided to do it.

And the Mouse wanted something from her mom's office for homework that is due in TWO WEEKS!!! i was never that on top of things in high school! Personally, i think it's ridiculous that she wanted to be finished with it tonight. I can understand being done early, but two weeks is approaching overachiever in my opinion.

It wasn't easy being with them tonight. I did manage to do some studying, but I kept thinking of everything i have to do tomorrow.... A presentation for my final in one class, a presentation in another as a part of my paper, and catching up on all this homework, which i can't do without the software which i only have access to at the library. It's going to be a long couple of days, just sayin.

Anyways, I should go to bed. so goodnight